Summa Cum Messy
Pursuing three degrees, nine years of sobriety, and a truce with the voices that say I'm just an educated disaster.
THE EDUCATED DISASTER
Tales from the front lines of academia, where the GPA is high but the desk is a disaster area.
THE HEAVY LIFTING
THE INTERNAL TRUCE
THE JOINT VENTURE
Recent Posts
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The Snail, the Slug, and the Secrets
The last thing I learned was that my anger isn’t going anywhere anytime soon—and that apparently, according to my therapist Dr. G, I am incredibly comfortable with secrets. As it turns out, secrets are one of the leading causes of anger. (Who knew? 🤷🏻♀️) The Anatomy of the Shield As I shared in a previous…
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The Definition of Love
This post is dedicated to K and J Semenza—who know more about love than I could ever hope to learn in a lifetime. I’d like to start by saying that although my big Italian family is full of flaws (as demonstrated in yesterday’s post), it is also filled with enormous love—and no two people better…
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Stagnation of the “Know-It-All”
I’ve spent my energy reserves for the week on homework, long periods of dissociation, compulsory self-reflection, and dealing with a dog that seems to be as neurotic as I am. When this is how you spend the majority of your time, you tend to have little patience—and sometimes zero tolerance—for those who can’t seem to…
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“Fine” is a Four-Letter Word
Most people who know me well would tell you I have a problem with emotions—friends, family, and especially my mental health care providers. They’re not wrong. I don’t particularly like emotions. There are exactly three I’m comfortable with: numbness, anger, and joy. And if I’m being honest, that last one is rare, fleeting, and I…
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The Joker and the Comedian
I woke up yesterday morning and did something I don’t usually do: I took a shower and fixed my hair. I did this with the intention of setting myself up for a productive academic day. But then I got lost in the noise—the chaos of other people’s problems and the frantic rodent voices inside my…
Welcome!
I am currently a non-traditional (i.e. older) student pursuing several bachelor’s degrees, my ninth year of sobriety, and a hard-won truce with treatment-resistant depression and PTSD. This is a chronicle of the terrifying mess and the awe-inspiring beauty (mostly curated by my husband) of my life. The hamsters in my head keep it pretty rowdy in here, but you’re welcome to pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and stay awhile.